Sunday, November 2, 2008


I am a perfectionist when it comes to making decisions. I agonize over the smallest of ones. It's a sickness. It is the reason behind my obsessive-compulsive search for the perfect wardrobe and beauty products/routine. Let me clarify, it is not that I want a dream wardrobe or beauty arsenal, but simply want the best and most efficient/realistic stuff for me.

I agonize over what the best deal is, where to find discounts on non-discounted beauty products. What to splurge or save on. What shoes to buy when I don't want to clutter up my closet with stuff that really isn't practical in my lifestyle. On one hand, I despise excess (having more stuff just to have more stuff) and, on the other, I am constantly agonizing over what the BEST stuff for me to research and purchase is. I want to look into the future and see what spur-of-the-moment purchases will end up being my go-to's--that sweater I always grab, those shoes that are perfectly versatile, that blush that I never get tired of, those jeans that don't show my love handles and go with flats or heels...

I know the solution to this problem is to simply be content with the stuff I have, and let it all go! But, since I battle with my health so much and really can't have too many activities in my life other than work, I just have to learn to research this stuff and not let indecision plague me.

Such as my search for my next body wash. Yes, it is a tiny, insignificant detail in the grand scheme of life, but--given the myriad of choices--turns into a game for me to find the perfect one. It's all very silly, and causes me undue stress. But, it also entertains me.

Sometimes, I need to learn to close my eyes and just pick one.

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